Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Flicker Connection

A young woman I've been counselling online made a major painful step yesterday morning, admitting to me that she has been abusing her dog because of her despair and panic. Though it wasn't physically beating the dog, this situation could only escalate, so it had to be confronted...carefully. She suffers devastating physical and psychological symptoms...very manic and paralyzed in her life...becoming moreso over the last eight months. After I wrote what I had to say...I was weeping...and desperately needed the heart-comfort of walking our pup, so off we went...tears still streaming down my cheeks...and asking for help.

I am never turned-down.

Walking up the first hill, I began to hear a line being sung in my ears..."Ain't that love baby...ain't that love," and it was a comforting little mantra while picking-up the pace with the pup. A few blocks later...some other lines began to come...sweet and old-fashioned. Just off to my right, in the woods, a flicker suddenly began to sing...then flew right in front of me. The back-story to this is that the flicker was what Grey Wolf used to call "the telephone ringing for our connection." Whenever he saw the flicker come, he was about to hear from me.

A few blocks later...some more words...then a flicker in a garden on the left called...and flew in front of me. The connection grew...lightened and lifted me. A few blocks more and we reached the paddocks that we circle round...so, open area...but ringed by the woods. Suddenly...a chorus began, all around us...flickers everywhere, calling, laughing, singing, flying. Now I was weeping and laughing with the joy of my beloved's coming...and the filling of my heart...and the rest of the song. I asked him to walk a bit with this young woman...and thanked him for always walking with me...there on the right side, where he always is...some can even see him with me.

I came home and checked the computer...first my heart sank a little when I read her defensive reply. Then there was a second reply (I'm so glad I was out for an hour) and this wee beauty had taken a second, honest look. My heart flew as I read her admit the defensiveness of the first reply (sweet mercy...how I love when people get this brave in front of the mirror!) and how, in reading it herself, she realized the truth...realized she had asked for the truth...and running away only meant it was certainly truth...then promised me she would bring this up to her therapist immediately. She wants help...and she works hard for it, bless her.

I suspect tick-borne infections in this girl...she checked-off so many of the symptoms on a chart I sent her, that even she was gobsmacked...and has lived in three Lyme-endemic areas (NY, Penn., and Mass.) and now Colorado, where the numbers are growing fast, but I will not drive anyone down the Lyme-highway...only offer some maps for checking. I've given her the name and number of a Lyme-literate doctor who is forty-five minutes away from her...offered some help with the payment (LLMD's don't accept insurance because insurance companies are the ones to begin the witch-hunt by complaining to Medical Boards about "excessive treatment")...and explained that they don't want to drive anyone down that highway either...they want to find answers for people, the way other doctors just don't anymore. This particular doc was actually in the Lyme documentary...was told, as a patient, that he had Lou Gehrig's disease and was dying quickly. He went down the Lyme highway as a last ditch effort...and damn, if he didn't get better...out of the wheelchair...feeding himself...and finally...back to work to help others. I won't push any more, I've given her information...will just be here for her now.

So, here's the lyrics...sweet like my beloved Grey Wolf, with more said between the lines...that being the work of the listener...that being his way.

It was a hard and sacred day.

Everything's A Love Song copyright 2009 Walking Wolf Woman (& Grey Wolf)

I just met you...you just met me
But there's somethin' between us that we can see
Ain't that love baby...ain't that Love
Friends we made years along the way
Still ask us to come out and play
Ain't that love baby...ain't that Love

It's love that makes a drawing from a pencil
Love that molds from clay a work of art
Love never makes itself a stencil
Each piece is a unique treat for the heart

Tender souls that we help through
Now they're makin' it somethin' new
Ain't that love baby...ain't that Love?
I miss you so though you're always near
The flicker's trill still brings you here
Ain't that love baby...ain't that Love?
Lip-smack from Above baby...ain't that Love!


Kim Thompson said...

What a beautiful song and I got goosebumps reading about the flickers calling. Amazing grace.

Stephanie Frieze said...

Wonderful story and song, Lorraine. You are always wise council and speaking the truth is seldom easy. Thank you for sharing your experience and words with us.

Lorraine Hart said...

You know...when I walked the dog yesterday...no flickers anywhere around!

They can call me crazy if they want...this kinda crazy saves me.